"Closed Eyes/Universe" is a creation story, a kind of bizarre conjuring of life from death and back again. This piece was written after my nephew was born. For me, it was a cliche experience, but a necessary one,which allowed my to go back in time, to my childhood or what I invented of my childhood. I'll never tell.



Issue 14 • Summer 2005 • Featured Writer • Poetry

Closed Eyes/Universe

Neil de la Flor

For K. & L.

You said:	The last thing I remember you were a girl and your breasts were small.
She said:	Then everything you knew about me died when you became my brother. Now my hair and my eyes have fallen out. My breasts have turned into chalk hills.
You said:	But when I taste your nipple sister chalk turns into milk then into blood. Do you remember I swallowed your toes in bathtubs while July and August rode black mares and red and white Yamaha motor-bikes up Green Mountains? Fumes, grass and gnats filled your nose.
She said:	You sneezed. Mother waved delicate arms like moth-wings from the Green Valley below.
You said:	Home children, home, she huffed from the brick wood cabin chimney
She said:	nestled hidden in the forest surrounded by winding whirling creeks
You said:	and heavy black bear trails where the chimney smoked --
She said:	puffed-puffed away like grandfather's pipe
You said:	until fireflies burned out of kerosene
She said:	and fell out of the sky.
You said:	Then everything smelled like maple wood with closed eyes.
You said:	Sister, why did you become a mule?
She said:	I became a mule, brother, because that was the time.
You said:	What time was that?
She said:	The time my hands turned into rotting hooves dripping black oil as blacksmith hands hammered away at my soles.
You said:	Yet everything you taught me about mules died when I became you.
She said:	I remember that day, too, brother, like walking through spider webs.
You said:	All of a sudden I was barefoot.
She said:	I kicked the blacksmith in the face and galloped away as a moth.
You said:	You flew faster than the Big Bang.
She/You said:	So fast and wild we turned into a black sparrow.
She/You said:	Mother got so angry she smashed her man-fists against the wind like a God dam.
She/You said:	Stop them! Stop them! She shouted.
She/You said:	But we got away.
She/You said:	Until a wild gorilla woman-beast materialized and squashed us against her chest.
She/You said:	We wrestled ourselves out of her skin
She/You said:	and grew new wings
She/You said:	then ripped off our legs
She/You said:	sewed them under our eyes
She/You said:	so our hearts would never be separate again.
She/You said:	Then we heard a cry.
She/You said:	The splatter of blood.
She/You said:	But it was too late.
She/You said:	Time began to grow outside of us again.
She said:	Your wings broke off.
You said:	Your hooves too.
She said:	Black oil began to ooze out of my feet
You said:	where light angels burst out smiling, waving, until you fell asleep.
She said:	I dreamt of grandfather, fireflies mating, mother kissing my eyelids,
You said:	softly,
She said:	and the smell of kerosene.
You said:	Then everything you knew about yourself died
She said:	when I became your mother.
She said:	Brother, I died, but only for a moment.
You said:	Sister, you're leaking milk on my chest.
She said:	I know brother. It's time again.
You said:	To separate?
She said:	No, to open my boy's eyes.
You said:	You realize he will be hungry
She said:	and thirsty too.
You said:	What will you feed him?
She said:	I will feed him chromosomes.
You said:	And what will you call Closed Eyes?
She said:	I'll call him Universe.

The Exegesis of Grease...

"The Exegesis of Grease, the Soundtrack" is loosely a Ghazal,which is an ancient Persian form of verse. Note the repetition of certain words. This poem was obvously inspired by the movie Grease, which happened to be on HBO that day. I happened to be reading a series of Ghazals written by Marilyn Hacker and thus I decided to write one as well. This poem was first published at Lodestar Quarterly, 'an online journal of the finest gay, lesbian, and queer literature.'

Issue 14 • Summer 2005 • Featured Writer • Poetry

The Exegesis of Grease, the Soundtrack

Neil de la Flor

In '78 [I fell in love with a mechanic] :: grease was the word.
Now I wonder what was the point of my virginity, that filthy word.

Violets, leather jackets, milkshakes, Lightnin'. Please, I offered,
I bought them for you. Symbols of 'fidelity' was the word.

Song written for the mechanic: Summer Nights. Thieves uncovered
Innocence, his filthy secret, i.e. his 'Sandy-dee-code-word.'

Beware! The life span of a diseased relationship is one generation.
Lovers of Beowulf, the title of my discography was the word --

Ex. Examine the lyrics of background noise. Suggest exegesis, interpretation,
Sound bites. I'm hopelessly 'devoted' to you! Devoted is such a silly word.

Take for instance, a mechanism, an unconscious reaction, unease when
A person faces a whipping. Imagine this willy-nilly word:

[Invisible ink.] By '79 he wasn't a greaser anymore -- a sleaze, a coward!
Never mind the bloodstain, the black eye, or his last Nazi word.