"Closed Eyes/Universe" is a creation story, a kind of bizarre conjuring of life from death and back again. This piece was written after my nephew was born. For me, it was a cliche experience, but a necessary one,which allowed my to go back in time, to my childhood or what I invented of my childhood. I'll never tell.



Issue 14 • Summer 2005 • Featured Writer • Poetry

Closed Eyes/Universe

Neil de la Flor

For K. & L.

You said:	The last thing I remember you were a girl and your breasts were small.
She said:	Then everything you knew about me died when you became my brother. Now my hair and my eyes have fallen out. My breasts have turned into chalk hills.
You said:	But when I taste your nipple sister chalk turns into milk then into blood. Do you remember I swallowed your toes in bathtubs while July and August rode black mares and red and white Yamaha motor-bikes up Green Mountains? Fumes, grass and gnats filled your nose.
She said:	You sneezed. Mother waved delicate arms like moth-wings from the Green Valley below.
You said:	Home children, home, she huffed from the brick wood cabin chimney
She said:	nestled hidden in the forest surrounded by winding whirling creeks
You said:	and heavy black bear trails where the chimney smoked --
She said:	puffed-puffed away like grandfather's pipe
You said:	until fireflies burned out of kerosene
She said:	and fell out of the sky.
You said:	Then everything smelled like maple wood with closed eyes.
You said:	Sister, why did you become a mule?
She said:	I became a mule, brother, because that was the time.
You said:	What time was that?
She said:	The time my hands turned into rotting hooves dripping black oil as blacksmith hands hammered away at my soles.
You said:	Yet everything you taught me about mules died when I became you.
She said:	I remember that day, too, brother, like walking through spider webs.
You said:	All of a sudden I was barefoot.
She said:	I kicked the blacksmith in the face and galloped away as a moth.
You said:	You flew faster than the Big Bang.
She/You said:	So fast and wild we turned into a black sparrow.
She/You said:	Mother got so angry she smashed her man-fists against the wind like a God dam.
She/You said:	Stop them! Stop them! She shouted.
She/You said:	But we got away.
She/You said:	Until a wild gorilla woman-beast materialized and squashed us against her chest.
She/You said:	We wrestled ourselves out of her skin
She/You said:	and grew new wings
She/You said:	then ripped off our legs
She/You said:	sewed them under our eyes
She/You said:	so our hearts would never be separate again.
She/You said:	Then we heard a cry.
She/You said:	The splatter of blood.
She/You said:	But it was too late.
She/You said:	Time began to grow outside of us again.
She said:	Your wings broke off.
You said:	Your hooves too.
She said:	Black oil began to ooze out of my feet
You said:	where light angels burst out smiling, waving, until you fell asleep.
She said:	I dreamt of grandfather, fireflies mating, mother kissing my eyelids,
You said:	softly,
She said:	and the smell of kerosene.
You said:	Then everything you knew about yourself died
She said:	when I became your mother.
She said:	Brother, I died, but only for a moment.
You said:	Sister, you're leaking milk on my chest.
She said:	I know brother. It's time again.
You said:	To separate?
She said:	No, to open my boy's eyes.
You said:	You realize he will be hungry
She said:	and thirsty too.
You said:	What will you feed him?
She said:	I will feed him chromosomes.
You said:	And what will you call Closed Eyes?
She said:	I'll call him Universe.